Wool & Honey owners reflect on parenting, humanity in a pandemic
Photo of Melissa Kelenske and Liz Neddo by Mae Stier
By Mae Stier
Sun contributor
When I met with Melissa Kelenske and Liz Neddo, owners of Wool & Honey in Cedar, for an interview, it was in the way that is now standard in the year 2021. The meeting was on a video call, with all the technical difficulties and internet interruptions you would imagine, especially since we all live in rural northern Michigan and do not have high-speed internet. We were three mothers behind closed doors in our separate houses, joined here and there throughout the call by little ones popping in to ask a question or wave at the other faces on a computer screen. Currently, our work time is rarely separate from our parenting, a reality that makes both roles more difficult than before.
Melissa and Liz are sisters who grew up in Leelanau County, and both attended Glen Lake High School. Melissa purchased the yarn shop in Cedar, formerly Inish Knits, in 2006 and rebranded it to Wool & Honey in 2010. Her sister, Liz, joined the operation in 2013, and together they expanded their vision to include the Sleeping Bear Yarn Club, which ships Leelanau-inspired yarn to subscribers across the country each month, and a full-scale online store. They are grateful for the time they spent growing their internet platform, which has helped them to keep their business afloat during a global pandemic.
The past 10 months have changed much for the sisters—both how they run their business and their responsibilities as parents. Melissa has two daughters, ages 4 and 7, and Liz has a 5-year-old daughter. Like so many other parents of school-aged children, Melissa and Liz have stepped into roles as e-learning teachers while juggling the constant changes required to run their business. This, of course, occurring all the while attempting to keep their families, employees, and community safe.
All of their children attend school in Leland, with the oldest two participating in a virtual learning format through the school’s hybrid approach this year. Melissa’s 4-year-old attends preschool in Leland four days a week, where the classrooms are at half-capacity and children wear masks all day. Her older daughter, seven, is learning virtually, and Melissa has teamed up with another Leland mom to alternate days when they facilitate virtual learning from home. This arrangement has allowed Melissa the opportunity to have two full workdays during the week while keeping her older daughter learning safely at home. She would not have this luxury otherwise, as her husband is an educator and works full time at the school.
Liz’s 5-year-old is currently learning entirely virtually, which involves about three hours of schooling each day, a mix between instruction time on a tablet and time spent playing and learning with the adult at home; in this case, Liz. Liz’s husband works from a home office but keeps consistent work hours, which leaves her with most of the educating and parenting responsibilities during the week. She juggles this role alongside her role at Wool & Honey, managing scheduling, finances, and planning for the business. She admits that it often feels as though “you either are not doing well doing your work or not doing well being a parent,” as she attempts to split time and attention between these significant parts of her life.
Despite the struggle to find balance, Liz acknowledges that she and Melissa “are really privileged and lucky that we have a job that we can (do at home).” They have not had to choose between keeping their family safe or continuing to work at a job where they were more likely to be exposed to COVID. The reality that their work is flexible has informed Liz’s decision to keep her daughter enrolled in virtual learning, even though Leland does offer an in-person option.
Liz has lately taken on the philosophy that while virtual learning “has been hard, I will take that hardship on for the neighbors in the community that cannot. They have to bring their kids into the school because they (can’t work from home). I’ll keep my kid home and go through (virtual learning) if they can have that building.”
Throughout the pandemic, there have been discussions across the country between lawmakers, parents, and educators as they try to find a safe option that also offers necessary resources to the community. While education itself is vital to a community’s health, so too is access to childcare and a system that ensures the physical health of its citizens where possible. The debate over whether schools should be open during a pandemic seems to land at the crossroads of many of these issues, with some arguing that keeping schools open was dangerous to public health. In contrast, others argued that closing schools is even more hazardous to general well-being.
Liz acknowledges the complications that many parents face with these hard decisions and is doing what she can to lessen the burden in her community. She knows that there is no one-size-fits-all option for parents attempting to balance work and childcare in any given year, especially with a pandemic’s complications added in. The solution “is (not as easy as) ‘everybody should be home’. It has to be some sort of a mix,” she suggests. If parents with more flexibility can “make a call to keep (our kids) home so that (children of essential workers) can be in a less-crowded, less-exposed (classroom),” it is worth the struggles encountered while facilitating virtual learning.
Even though embarking on virtual learning has been a decision Melissa and Liz made when given two less-than-ideal choices for this year, the fact that the decision was voluntary does not make it easy. Melissa admits that it is difficult to have her child see her as a teacher. “I don’t like that my role as a mother has to have that other layer … not that I don’t have to teach them other things. Of course, we are all teaching our children things every day. But not academics, and I wish that part wasn’t a part of it.” While lamenting the current struggle, she reminds herself, and all of us, that this present reality “won’t be forever.”
As we continued talking about what has changed for us throughout the pandemic, we branched into a discussion about the emotional and internal work that Melissa and Liz are encountering. Not only have they experienced new territory as business-owners and virtual educators, but they are also acknowledging the realities of their privilege in a society that benefits white people.
This period has magnified the racial disparities in our country in new ways. Between the disproportionate ways that COVID-19 has affected Black and Indigenous communities and police brutality incidents that have also disproportionately affected those communities, 2020 laid bare the significant amount of work necessary for us to address as a society. Locally, racism was overtly on display in August when a now-former Leelanau County Road Commissioner used a racial slur in a public meeting, prompting the Commission to ask for his resignation and to pass a formal resolution denouncing racism.
White supremacy in the United States and our local community still exists in both overt and covert ways. To enact change, those of us who have benefitted from white supremacy must work to dismantle oppressive systems in our homes and communities. Melissa went on to say that they are “not just operating within a global pandemic, but taking into account the white supremacist, racist society that we are living in, and how we are coming to grips with it. How it is our job not just to peddle yarn … but to (talk) about how we are here to serve all people.”
Melissa and Liz take that responsibility seriously, both as parents and as business owners. Over the last year, they have publicly addressed racial inequalities on their platform, working to acknowledge white supremacy within our society and to educate themselves on how to tear down systems of oppression. After sending out a newsletter in June stating that Black Lives Matter, they received many negative responses, including unsolicited advice from other business owners to “keep politics out of business.” They responded that this isn’t about “politics, it’s humanity. We are in the business of being human.”
From our virtual conversation, Melissa and Liz’s commitment to being human and looking out for their community was extremely evident. From their thoughtful approach to whether or not they would enroll their children in virtual learning this year to their passion for calling out racial injustice, it is clear these women are working to make their community a more equitable and safe place. As they muddle through the mess of wearing too many hats: parent, business-owner, virtual teacher, snack-coordinator, neighbor, etc., they do so with little ones watching their every move. At times, this has been a worrisome reality for the duo, but as a community member watching two parents who are doing their best for their kids and neighbors, I say we are all lucky to have such an example.
Melissa emphasized the importance of allowing her kids to see how she feels, and both Melissa and Liz value that transparency within their business. This transparency has helped them naturally discuss their personal growth with the patrons of Wool & Honey. Liz says, “We have talked about (our emotions) for years … which was a great precursor to a year like this.” This vulnerability has allowed them to discuss important human issues this year, not just their newest product. It laid the groundwork for them “to say, ‘we are in the business of people; we happen to just all like yarn. People are first. Our community is first.’”
With this mindset, Melissa and Liz move forward into the new year, a year that likely will not be much different from the last, but where people are the top priority. While once their business hosted in-person events, for now, they host only virtual gatherings. They are unsure when people will feel comfortable meeting in larger groups, even after regulations have lifted. Their storefront is currently open, with a maximum of three guests allowed inside at once. Both Melissa and Liz work from home mostly these days, allowing their employees to cover the quiet winter days at the shop while limiting the number of people working at a time.
Intention goes into every decision they make, decisions other business owners may make by looking at the financials. For Melissa and Liz, business, family, and personal decisions are made by looking at beating hearts, those in their homes and those outside of them, and considering how best they can contribute to a better world. What a great example for us all to follow, from a sweet shop in the heart of Leelanau County.
