Some Thoughts on the Meaning and Myths of Feminism.

By Anne-Marie Oomen
Sun contributor

I am a feminist. Those values and behavior seem obvious and natural to me. And I thought, after all this time, most people understood feminism even if they didn’t agree with everything a feminist stood for. However, based on some recent conversations with young people, especially people in their teens, I realize those values– which for me are so important and hard won– are NOT automatically understood by others. Based on intolerant remarks I’ve heard recently, it appears that some negative stereotypes have evolved around this important political movement. What I’m about to write will, I hope, help us to think and to talk more openly about what it means to be a woman, a feminist, an equal person.
As a feminist I believe in the following things:
-equal pay for equal work
-equal opportunity in any field of choice
-power to choose what happens to my own body
-equal protection under the law
-an attitude of respect for and celebration of the roles women have played in history
That list summarizes basic feminist beliefs— all beliefs about equality and respect. With those beliefs in mind, I’d like to discuss some of the stereotypes which I believe, through my recent conversations, may have become attached to feminism.
Stereotype one: During a lively conversation at a potluck a few weeks ago, a young woman confessed to me that she didn’t want to be associated with feminism because “The boys think you’re a Lesbian.” I hope young men are more intelligent than to think like that; but here are the facts. Feminism is one of the most diverse political movements in history. It includes men as well as women, people of all races, creeds, nationalities, and yes, sexual preferences. Claiming that feminists are lesbians is a sweeping generalization based on fear. People who say that are using a specific fear, homophobia, as a way to intimidate and control the behavior of women. However, what’s important is that because the basic values of feminism are equality and respect, the movement may include many kinds of people. I’m proud of that.
Stereotype two: “If you say you’re a feminist, people say you’re macho. I don’t want to be a macho woman.” Because I was so startled by this twist of language, I looked up the word. It comes from machismo and means “a strong or exaggerated sense of manliness.” I assume the remark means that if a woman is too strong or assertive, she sacrifices her femininity. I ask, then why do I know many women who are strong and assertive, who promote values of equality and respect for women, who aren’t in the least bit “macho?” I think of leaders in the women’s movement. They include mothers, nurturers who have families, and women who promote a variety of women’s roles. They all reveal femininity to various degrees natural to them. All of them believe strongly in equality and respect. So why is this term being applied to feminists in general? Probably because more women ARE assertive, a quality which is traditionally associated with the “man’s role.” That threatens some people in power. People who examine this claim will discover one more way fear of being different is used to keep women timid or confused.
Stereotype three: Another person told me, “Feminists are man-haters” My immediate reaction was a personal one. “I’m a feminist, but I don’t hate men. I’m happily married to a man.” I realized another generalization was being used to instill fear and resentment, this time in men. That statement invites this opposition from males: “Well, if they hate me, why can’t I hate them back.” It’s intended to divide instead of unify men and women. It puts hatred before equality. The truth is, feminists have varied attitudes about men, and for that matter—about women. Some women who are feminists have had difficult encounters with some men, and as a result distrust men, or don’t want to have strong associations with men. This is their right. But many women (myself included) see that men may be allies and colleagues in the work for tolerance and mutual respect.
Though there are other stereotypes, a particularly dangerous one goes like this: “We don’t have to think about women’s rights anymore. It’s been done; lets move on.” I’d love to believe that. I do believe important strides have been made. However, because women are still paid only 73% (national average) of what men are; because of the increased incidence of abuse, as well as sex and hate crimes against women; and because remarks like those cited above reveal sexual stereotyping and misunderstanding, I think we have work to do. I hope we remember that sexism, racism, and other cultural injustices recur only if we let them. Many of us may need to look closely at our behavior, language, and thinking. When we make derogatory remarks about women (or men) are we doing so out of fear of change? Are we compensating for feelings of insecurity or inferiority by criticizing someone else’s beliefs or objectifying somone else’s body? Are we making unfair generalizations? I’m proud of being a woman who believes in feminism. I’m saying respect me, my rights, my body, and you will earn the same respect from me.