Grandma JoJo: A True Glen Arbor Matriarch

By Maria Okorn

Sun contributor

I didn’t need another grandmother. With both paternal and maternal grandmothers living nearby and thriving in their elderly years, I considered myself extremely fortunate. Loving, attentive, lively, and very engaged in my life, their influence and my experiences with them were numerous and treasured. My relationships with them both were deeply fulfilling. 

She didn’t need another granddaughter. Easygoing, lighthearted, and loving, my best friend Lindsey (Webber) was her first. Lindsey spent countless days enjoying time with her grandparents at their home on the slopes of The Homestead. Four grandsons and another granddaughter would follow, giving her plenty of kin to dote on.

However, very quickly, Joanne Bender became Grandma JoJo, and would refer to me as another granddaughter— a designation that I relished. I was not the only one outside of family to address her as such; as a volunteer at Glen Lake Elementary, she taught French to Lindsey’s classmates. Sharing a love of literature (she being a former English teacher and me a prospective one) and appreciating the deepening friendship between me and Lindsey, we were somewhat of kindred spirits— or kindred “pals” as she would say. Joanne and Tom Bender’s door was always open to me (and many others), and I always felt completely comfortable and welcome in their home. 

She was the embodiment of a grandmother— gracious, encouraging, creative, and possessed the most generous spirit I’ve ever known. Classy and conservative, in all the hours I spent at her house I never saw her hair out of place or clothes unpressed. Her cooking was second to none— she never shied away from a pat of butter, and for some reason even plain old bagels and cream cheese tasted better when she made them.

Her creative talents were utilized as gifts to others, and upon our high school graduation, she hosted a high tea, gifting individual quilts she had sewn for me and several classmates. She even created scrapbooks of my personal accomplishments, and planned special days at her house for Lindsey and her friends, days she referred to as “Camp JoJo”, complete with songs, arts and crafts, and hours of swimming and play time. Upon reflection, at thirteen we had to have been a bit of a nuisance at times—our adolescent immaturity at its prime in our middle school years— but JoJo never, ever gave off the slightest hint of annoyance. If anything, she just laughed right along with us, even if she didn’t quite understand what had us in fits of laughter. 

Glen Arbor was truly home to her, but the harsh winters sent the Benders to Sarasota, Florida, where JoJo enjoyed golfing in the sunshine well into her eighties. As a young adult, I was not able to spend as much time with her as I did in my adolescence, but I felt her encouragement and support with every growth and accomplishment. She would send a card, small gift, or even just a Facebook post, always expressing how much she loved and believed in me.

I didn’t need another grandmother, but I did need a Grandma JoJo. Knowing her has enhanced my life in infinite ways, and I am deeply grateful for the unforgettable memories I will forever carry. As A.A. Milne, author of JoJo’s favorite character Winnie the Pooh wrote, “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.”