Demystifying what’s “FREE!” for the taking

By Jen Semanco
Sun contributor
This summer I have had an ongoing debate with a good friend of mine who wants a kitten. Not just any kitten, mind you, but a pedigreed “pixie-bob” tail-less kitten. These cats run between $600-$1200, not including the cost of shipping it to Michigan. So why pay that much money when there are so many “free” kittens in need of good homes? Well, a month ago one of these “free” kittens found its way into my home. My “free” kitten, Sid, came to me injured. Some other animal had probably attacked him, and the end of his tail hung limp.

The first round of veterinarian bills weren’t too steep — vaccinations and antibiotics for the dead tail. The first time I got out the antibiotics, I accidentally knocked the bottle over and watched my $15 literally go down the drain of my bathroom sink. I went back to the vet the next day for a refill. But as the days went on, the tail got worse — much worse. We returned to the vet to have a closer look and came to the conclusion that an amputation was unavoidable (I also got more antibiotics to last him until the day of the surgery).
Sid went in to the vet a few days later to lose his tail and to be neutered. The next day I picked him up, along with my bill, and for the first time thought about how much my “free” kitten had cost me. My tail-less cat has at least a $500 price tag when I consider veterinarian bills, food, toys and litter, not to mention the gasoline I’ve burned driving back and forth from the vet’s office (six trips in three weeks) which is about 20 miles away.
(So maybe one should look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth. — Ed.)
But kittens aren’t the only free offerings in Glen Arbor this summer. I’ve seen plenty of old boxes sitting at the end of driveways full of stray objects. The word “FREE!” is always scrawled in big letters on the cardboard, beckoning the attention of passersby. I’m always tempted to slow my car down for a closer look, but then I think of what would fill my own “FREE!” box, if I were to have one — old clothes, my Walkman from 8th grade that only plays cassettes backwards, sunglasses with lenses so warped that they cause headaches, and many other objects that have rendered themselves useless in my life and are only causing clutter. These things all have just enough sentimental value to them that, year after year, I’m prevented from pitching them in the trash.
When we give away our stuff for free, we truly hope that someone else will find use, pleasure or beauty in the things we no longer want. We receive free things throughout the year that make us very happy, especially on holidays, yet we don’t refer to these treasures as “free stuff.” Instead we call them “gifts.” I’m rarely skeptical of any gift given to me, but I can’t help but wonder when I read the “Freebies” section of the classified ads. Why are you trying to find a new home for your two-year-old old Border Collie who is so sweet and great with kids? What’s wrong with the refrigerator that’s free if I come and haul it away? Perhaps it’s the doubt that comes from too many telemarketing scams, too many Internet pop-ups promising free vacations, too many infomercials selling overpriced gadgets.
“There is no such thing as a free lunch,” but we are often offered free kittens, free garage sale leftovers, and, of course, free advice. You never thought you would need another outdated computer printer that prints only in purple ink, but if it’s sitting in a beat up cardboard box at the end of someone’s driveway with a “FREE!” sign attached, there must be some use for it. Getting stuff for free is the ultimate bargain. After all, no one will pay you to take junk off of their hands, that’s the job for garbage collectors.