Cell phone-less locals are dying breed

By Joel Gaff
Sun contributor
I thought I was in a parallel universe when I heard her say it. “Let me give you my cell phone number,” she said. No, I wasn’t about to score the digits of some hot supermodel. Heck, I wasn’t even going to get a date. However, what I was going to get was something far more incredible. I was about to get Jen Semanco’s cell phone number. Yes, it’s official, folks, just about every true northern Michigan local now has a cell phone.

For the longest time, Jen Semanco, who was once called “Jenson Ankle” when someone misunderstood her name over the phone, resisted the temptation of getting a cell phone citing that it was unnecessary. But the Leelanau School teacher, Tratoria Funistrada waitress and occasional Leelanau Coffee Roaster barista, has now found a new sense of freedom and finally considers herself an independent woman. No longer does one have to pray to catch Jen while she is at home sitting next to the landline phone, or call down to Art’s Tavern and ask Tim if she happens to be there. Perhaps next time you call her she might be on I-75 somewhere between Cincinnati and Knoxville, maybe she’ll be just down the road at Funistrada serving up a fine glass of wine, or perhaps she might even be sitting on her living room couch. The fact is, is that it doesn’t matter where she is because now she’s connected.
On the other hand, former local Julia Wheeler was somewhat disappointed to learn of Semanco’s leap into the digital age. “I used to love telling my friends in Minnesota that I had a friend back home that didn’t have a cell phone.”
There have been additional reports of this so-called “cell phone fever” among area residents. Norm Wheeler has been seen with his wife Mimi’s Nokia stuck to his ear. “I’ve been using it a lot lately,” says Wheeler, who states that he doesn’t officially have a cell phone, since it belongs to Mimi. “Mimi is always by a landline, whether she’s at the chocolate shop or at home, so she doesn’t use the cell phone much.” If you’ve ever called Norm at home and had to leave a message, you know he’s a busy guy. It’s a good thing he has strong lungs from playing the flugelhorn because his greeting message would leave a short-breathed person gasping for air. “Hello, you’ve reached the number of Norm and Mimi Wheeler, the Beach Bards, Lanphier Observatory, the Turtlenecks, the Glen Arbor Sun newspaper, Jazz North, the Connemara Folk Music Concerts, sometimes Jacob and Julia Wheeler…” and the message goes on and on. Maybe Norm should think about borrowing Mimi’s phone long-term, since he’s rarely sitting next to the phone waiting for it to ring.
Next time you see Norm or Jen make sure to ask them for their digits. And let’s hope that the cell tower is up and running when you call Jen so you don’t get confused and think you’ve dialed a wrong number and reached some Tennessee bluegrass singer named Jenson.